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Night of the Living Mike/Mitch Project

August 12, 2011

What if there is a Zombpocaplyse?

I made it back to the safe house tonight with not a moment to spare. Kira thought I was crazy to venture out at all, but I needed butter because tonight’s recipe is a Hollandaise sauce. Butter is not easy to come by, but I have my sources. The project is very impiortant to me and I sometimes think it is the only thing keeping me going. I’m not going to tell anyone that I saw four Walkers while I was out there tonight. If they are coming this close to the enclave then chances are we’ll need to move again soon. No sense getting everyone worried tonight. Let them have another night of peace. We’ve moved four times since we escaped the Cities – we’ll survive a fifth time.  Everyone thought I was crazy lugging my Stand Mixer with us from town to town, but when we used it to turn some baseball bats and twine into the most efficient zombie killing machine anyone has ever seen they stopped laughing. Of course it is ruined now for mixing batches of peanut butter cookies.

I’ve never made Hollandaise sauce over an open flame before, but I only have 15 recipes left in that damn cookbook and I am going to cook them all if it kills me. I have had tom improvise some of the ingredients. Dry goods are easy to come by, but the power has been out in most places so finding fresh produce is tricky. We lucked into some eggs from the family who started this enclave. They raise chickens and they even had a cow for a little while. Unfortunately, cows are too big. Anything over 40 pounds is susceptible to the disease or curse or whatever it is that makes things come back to life. They took quite a chance keeping a cow, but the fresh milk was hard to resist. One day they found a Walker in the grazing pen and decided it was too dangerous. I made some Homemade Steak Sauce that night and we all ate very well that night. It wasn’t quite as a good as Bison, but i kept that opinion to myself.

The good news is that I have permission to shoot any bears that I see. Bears are big enough to become undead so no one will care if I have the proper license. I learned to shoot a gun after those horrible shambling creatures surrounded our first safe house. We had to wait in the basement for two days until a hunting party killed all the Walkers. I practice hitting targets most days and I think if we found a uninfected bear I would be able to finish the last Damn recipe – Roast Bear.

Tonight I need to focus on my Hollandaise. Making Hollandaise can be tricky which cause me to worry about how it will turn out. When the sauce breaks I get flustered because it ruins a potentially delicious meal. I guess if it does break I will try not to get too upset about it. After all, it’s not like it’s the end of the world or anything.

Recipe #WhoCaresWeAreAllGoingToDie: Hollandaise Sauce over BRAINS!!!!!

Damn good Zombie movie that I stole that ending line from: Shawn of the Dead

3 Comments leave one →
  1. August 19, 2011 2:29 pm

    You sure do tell some great stories!

  2. August 14, 2011 12:46 pm

    Hey, there, Melsar! You stopped by my blog, and so I am swinging by to visit yours…what’s going on here? Is this for real? I mean, book to movie? Sounds remarkable, either way. You’ve got my attentions, anyway!


    • August 14, 2011 3:38 pm

      This is my What If week. No movie deal for me. Fun to think about though.

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